Most Uncomfortable Moment...But Oh So Good!

I'm pretty sure even though we are only 8 minutes in, we just experienced the most uncomfortable moment of the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. In Sarah Silverman's opening monologue, she said:

"In a couple of days, Paris Hilton is going to jail." Crowd applauds and cheers and generally goes wild, cut to Paris Hilton. Silverman goes on to say that to make her feel more comfortable, they were going to make the prison bars look like penises. Then she said "I'm just worried she'll break her teeth." Crowd goes nuts. Cut to Paris. Serious scowl on her face! She looked like she was either going to cry or rush the stage and kill her! Wow!! Silverman is not holding back, that's for sure!

Update: Click here to relive Sarah's full opening monologue at the MTV Awards

Paris at the MTV Movie Awards!

I have to say that I was shocked that Paris actually showed up at the MTV Movie Awards. She was wearing a black dress with about 9 trillion ruffles. She was very serious, serious for Paris anyway. She hardly cracked a smile, and that one only came when she was thanked for coming and called 'courageous' for facing the crowd. When asked how she was doing, she said,

"I'm scared but I'm strong. I'm ready to serve my sentence and I hope setting an example for other young people and the decisions they make."

Yeah, right. Your just pissed you got caught and that your name didn't get you out of it.

Tune in Tuesday!

On Tuesday, June 6th (aka: Paris goes to jail day), Britney Spears' mother, Lynne Spears will be on The View! They used to have a tight relationship but Brit cut her off after her quick stint in rehab. I'm hoping for momma Spears to dish all to the ladies at The View. And now that Rosie is gone, it will actually be watchable.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Wentworth Miller turned 35 on Saturday! I am missing my Monday night hotty fix; can't wait for Prison Break to return. Hubba Hubba!

Poor Paris...hahaha!

Warner Brother's Music Group has announced that they have dropped Paris Hilton. All together now, awwww. Rumor has it that they are pretty unhappy after investing $250,000 in a video for her '06 single, Stars Are Blind, and a promotional tour that brought in less than half a million in record sales. A rep for Warner Brothers said, "We are not expecting any new Paris Hilton material in the foreseeable future." Ouch! The fact that she'll be an ex-con can't be helping her either! Speaking of, let the countdown begin - Paris is set to report to the pokey on Tuesday!

Sunday Night TV

I am pretty excited about TV tonight. Just when I thought the summer blahs had started, I actually have three things to watch...well, make that four if you count the mindless but always hilarious Larry the Cable Guy special on Comedy Central at 8:00 est. I'll be tivo'ing that one.

The MTV Movie Awards are live for the first time ever this year starting at 7:30 est and are hosted by Sarah Silverman. I fully admit that I'm watching mainly for the red carpet to see what everyone is wearing and will be watching closely for any wardrobe malfunctions.

I also want to check out the two new shows debuting on Lifetime tonight - Kirstie Alley's Write & Wrong which sounds hilarious. The synopsis is a once famous screenwriter (Alley) is having a hard time finding work because she is approacing her fiftieth birthday so she enlists her hot nephew, a car salesman, to pitch her work as his own and of course, fools everyone in the process. I don't think Kate is too into this one so I'll be sure and pay extra attention.

Then we both are looking foward to Army Wives immediately following it. Army Wives is being pushed hard because it's executive producer Mark Gordon is the very same Mark Gordon behind Grey's Anatomy so it must be good...right? According to the website, "Life as an Army spouce is never dull, especially for the four women and one man who are the center of this dramatic series...these characters will form an unlikely alliance as they help on another through the unthinkable, and protect each other's darkest secrets." OK, so they had me at Grey's Anatomy producer but for sure pulled me in with 'darkest secrets', break out the ice cream!

Posh Pulls the Plug on TV Show?

Kate and I are pretty unhappy with Posh. There has been an evil rumor floating around that she may pull out of her reality TV show. The show was to be based on her move to the U.S. with her family and set to air on NBC. But it looks like family comes before career for Mrs. Beckham. TMZ is reporting that the rumor is in fact true quoting a source from The Mirror.

"the TV series was a great launchpad for her career...but she felt she was being pushed into a corner and David was obviously always going to take priority."

The official word from her rep came in yesterday.

"Victoria has had great fun filming the show. However the schedule was incredibly tight and it is up to the network what happens next."

So I'm not sure that she is 100% done, but my guess is that she is unhappy that the network wanted her to tape when she was already committed to watching husband David play soccer in his final European games. There is also talk floating around that the series could turn out to be an hour long special instead.

I guess we have to give her props for putting her family first, but damn were we looking forward to that show!

Debra Opri Kidnapps Money

I mentioned a couple of days ago that Larry Birkhead was going to come out of this whole non-payment of legal bills fiasco smelling like a rose. I have just proven correct!

Apparently Debra Opri pulled a fast one on Larry Birkhead, and instead of passing along money he earned giving exclusive interviews to Access Hollywood and BravoTV, she instructed Larry's agent and NBC to put the money in her client trust account. And then never gave it to Larry, and then had the nerve to send a bill to Larry and then sue him for not paying, even though she has his money already and he can't use it to pay her.

Confused? Me too. All I know is that Larry is totally vindicated for not paying his bill and Opri comes away from this looking really, really bad!!

To read the whole sad and sorry saga, click here to go to TMZ and read the story

Kate Has a Hand on Her Knee!

Is it possible that Kate Middleton has moved on already? Since her split with Prince William in April, Kate has been seen out and about hitting the clubs and looking fantastic. On Wednesday night, she was seen with a 'mystery man' and friends at the Mahiki club in London. The London Paper reports,

"Kate and her date were getting close at their table. She was in unusually high spirits. She had a table within the VIP section and was dancing around."

The sources go on to claim that as they left, Kate and "The Man" got into a car together and he...gasp!...put his hand on her knee and they "giggled together". Well, sure sounds serious to me.
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Aniston Pimps smartwater

Jennifer Aniston has put her name and face to smartwater by signing on as the new spokeswoman. There will be 'signature bottles' in stores this July in addition to an ad campaign. The Senior Vice President of smartwater released the following statement:

“We were thrilled that Jennifer discovered smartwater and realized what a difference it makes to her healthy lifestyle. To us, Jennifer truly embodies what smartwater is all about as she combines substance and style like nobody else.”
The company also issued a statement stating that, “Jennifer became an immediate fan. She believes so much in smartwater that she recently became an investor in the company and is even getting actively involved in the business.”

This will be her first product endorsment here in the U.S. although she has been involved with such products as Heineken, L'Oreal and Damiani jewelry overseas.
So, will seeing her face next to a smartwater bottle make you drink more water?
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Shiloh Turns One!!

Can you believe a whole year has passed since the frenzy of the impending birth of the golden child of Brangelina, and then the frenzy over the People photo shoot and the $4 million price tag for Shiloh pics? Me either.

Anyway, US Magazine celebrates by putting a photo of Shiloh on their cover this week.

Shiloh is an absolutely stunning baby, but don't you think she looks like something out of The Crucible with that weird hood on?

The Starter Wife

In keeping with this weeks chick lit theme, Mia and I will definitely be Tivoing The Starter Wife on USA at 9/8c tonight!

Debra Messing is the leading lady in this four part series:

At first blush, the smart, beautiful, savvy and wryly funny Molly Kagan (Debra Messing), 41, may appear to be leading the charmed life as a prototypical Hollywood "Wife Of" and mother of the adorable six-year-old Jaden, but her life is about to become anything but typical. When her husband and the President of Production of Durango Pictures, Kenny, announces that he is divorcing Molly, he manages to instantly render her a "Starter Wife" and social pariah with a single phone call. Once she realizes that she has been given a do-over, the question for her becomes: what to do now?

The mini series is adapted from the book The Starter Wife by Gigi Levangie Grazer, who was once a starter wife herself, and felt the bitter sting of rejection when she had a separation from her producer husband, Brian Grazer.

The series also stars Judy Davis and Miranda Otto.

I can't wait! Something decent to watch in this horrible TV wasteland they call summer.

Lindsay's Ex is Charming

Calum Best, recently linked with Lindsay Lohan, told The Sun that he is addicted to booze, drugs and hookers. Nice. I'm sure he helped Lohan stay on the right path....oh wait, she is back on the wrong path again, isn't she.

"I'm a bad boy, I go out and get drunk," he tells The Sun. "I get high on cocaine and I do stupid debauched things with the wrong women. 'When I'm high I do stupid shit. I'm a red-blooded male and I'm addicted to sex. 'I feel my dad's blood running through my veins. I need to sort out my problems before it's too late. I don't want to be a sad old man on my own drowning my sorrows. 'This is a wake-up call. I've got to take responsibility for my life."

Quite the interview. Doesn't leave much to the imagination. I wonder how Lindsay feels about being called one of 'the wrong women'? Hopefully she doesn't get The Sun in rehab.
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Get that Woman Some Sissors!

I don't know why everyone is all into Kate Hudson's business with respect to her son Ryder's long hair. Check out Celine Dion's son, Rene Charles!! Yikes!

Bored?

It's sort of slow today, so here's something to totally waste your time if you are bored, Craigslist Missed Connections. Time will fly by and it's entertaining. I just can't image that if some guy gave me a sideways glance in the subway that I'd rush home and check Craigslist incase he left me a message!!

Opri Sues Birkhead.

Debra Opri has filed suit against Larry Birkhead for his unpaid legal bill of over $600,000.

Debra Opri wants to force binding arbitration under the terms of a contract in which she agreed to represent Birkhead in September, according to the lawsuit filed in Superior Court.

Opri was Birkhead's lawyer in his paternity dispute with Anna Nicole Smith, over Dannielynn. It was ultimately proven that Dannielynn is Birkhead's biological daughter and he now has custody of her. Back in April Opri served Birkhead with a bill for $620,000.

On his website, Larry Birkhead makes this cryptic statement:

BILLS: I HAVE NOT MADE ANY COMMENT REGARDING AN ATTORNEY'S BILL. I HAVE REMAINED SILENT ON THIS ISSUE AND RELATED ISSUES IN THE PAST AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO THE SO IN THE FUTURE.

Of course, that statement has been up on his website for quite sometime, so I guess he's sticking to his guns and not talking to Opri about it either!.

I can't really believe that Opri is suing Birkhead over this. I understand that she wants her money, but she could come to some sort of agreement with him, after all, Opri has received incredible publicity from this case, and she couldn't buy that kind of publicity if she wanted to.

UPDATE: Larry Birkhead released an official statement to TMZ:

Despite their filings, both Ms. Opri and her attorney received notification making them aware that I would be out of the state of California taking care of my daughter until the conclusion of an upcoming June custody hearing in the Bahamas. Although at this time, the public is not aware of the unbelievable circumstances which led to me firing Ms. Opri, the only question at the end of the day is, how much money will Debra Opri be paying me? Thanks to the efforts of my Bahamas attorney, Emerick Knowles, I am fortunate enough now to be spending time with my daughter, Dannielynn.

A)Larry is going to come out of this smelling like a rose - I can just tell

B) How come everyone is now releasing their official statements directly to TMZ? Lohan just did that and now Larry?

Nicole is Hilarious

So we all have heard about how Nicole Richie had a little bbq on Memorial Day and that Mischa Barton was there and decided to drink even though she was on antibiotics for her bronchitis and that got her sent to the hospital, blah, blah, blah...she is home now, all is well, moving on. Now the big dirt coming out of that party is the email invitation that Nicole herself sent out to all her gal pals, Us Magazine gives us the scoop,

"Let's glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans, even though we have no...clue what Memorial Day really means!!...There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!"

Richie is taking all kinds of heat for the email. Her reps gave a statement to Us saying,

This invitation was sent via email to her friends who understand that she was responding in a joking manner to the constant untruths printed about her in the media. Her reference to Memorial Day was in no way meant to offend anyone but was simply an expression of her distaste for the current situation."

Please. Someone. Please make it stop. Obviously Nicole is trying to have a sense of humor about what is written about her in the tabloids. But, having said that, she had to have known that somehow, someone would leak it so why write it? I can only take so much more of these chicks. But I can't wait to see what they do next! Oh, and as a side note, why is it that so many of these woman choose to walk around barefoot? Gross!

Lindsay's Statement....

.....via her rep, of course.

"Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility."

Medical my ass. Girlfriend is a drunken dummy.
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Book Reviews!

Mia and I have been in a reading frenzy this last week Mia has just finished Hollywood Car Wash, and I have, in a marathon session, finished A Model Summer,The Second Assistant and I'm almost finished The First Assistant, and just about to start Hollywood Car Wash.

Of course, this is all totally fabulous chick lit, 100% enjoyable.

A Model Summer, by Paulina Porizkova was an engrossing and easy read. It was a little bit deeper than your average chick lit book, but no less entertaining. Clearly it was based heavily on her own life and breakthrough into the world of modeling. The only thing that was a bit disappointing was the ending, which was sort of abrupt and left you hanging. I hope Porizkova left it like that so she can write a sequel, because I'd definitely read it.


The Second Assistant, by Clare Naylor and Mimi Hare. I just loved this book. Not only is it totally hilarious, it's a fantastic looked inside the inner workings of a real Hollywood Agency. It's light reading, but totally engrossing. I read it in two days! Highly recommended for summer reading.




The First Assistant: A Continuing Tale from Behind the Hollywood Curtain, by Clare Naylor and Mimi Hare. This is the sequel to The Second Assistant, and although it is still entertaining, it doesn't quite measure up to the first one and the story is a bit all over the place. There are a lot of thinly veiled references to A list celebs that you will recognize instantly, and it's fun to read just for the closure you'll get for the romantic sub-plot.

All in all, three great summer reads!!

Miss USA Falls Flat

The Miss USA pageant and beauty queens are really a wacky bunch compared to the snores over at the Miss America pageant. In another "YouTube" moment, poor Miss USA, Rachael Smith, got her heel caught in her dress and went straight down on her butt. I can not believe how fast she recovered and jumped up, maintaining perfect posture the whole time. She should have won just for remaining calm under pressure. Miss Japan ended up taking the Miss Universe crown.