Nicole Trying for a 'Get Out of Jail Free' Card?

The pregnancy rumors continue to swirl around Nicole Richie. Page Six has this little jem today,

Nicole Richie is being coy on the question of whether she's pregnant, but a good pal of hers says she's definitely carrying Joel Madden's love spawn. "Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail," the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and "wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues," we're told. A rep for Richie didn't return calls.

So basically, if this is true, Nicole and Joel watch My Name is Earl and figured, 'hey, it worked for Joy!' and decided to give it a shot. Good luck Nicole, my guess is you will be in the cell right next to Paris.

News of the Day

Today's big stories were.....

Paris called Barbara Walters yesterday and told her she "used to act dumb. It was all an act. That act is no longer cute" This statement assumes that we all thought it was cute to begin with. She also assures Babs that she is a changed person, a more spiritual one who wants to build a "Paris Playhouse, where sick children might come..." She is even reading The Wall Street Journal.

TMZ is reporting that Paris is suffering from 'extreme ADD and claustrophobia' and that while in jail, she was having severe panic attacks which caused her to be so debilitated, 'she could not push the panic button in her cell. Yawn.

Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard of 2 years, Lee Weaver, spilled his guts to News of the World. Among the gory details are: she attacked a coke dealer, slit her wrists in front of her friends and enjoys lesbian romps.

Britney Spears has forgiven her mother for putting her in rehab. Britney, her sister Jamie Lynn and mom Lynn Spears met yesterday in Bel Air. Maybe Britney realized that at least her mother, unlike momma Lohan, may have actually had her best interest in mind when dropping her off at Promises.

Paris Gets Visitors

Sunday was family day but poor Paris was only allowed to have two visitors. She picked her sister Nicky and ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. I cannot believe after her screaming and crying for her mom that she picked an ex over her for her first visiting day. Anyway, she is still in the medical facility, on her meds and there is still no plan to appeal. Photo from The Washington Post.

Paris Too Scared to Pee

It's all become clear to me now. Paris couldn't care less about actually being in jail, just about using the facilities. According to the Daily News, Paris didn't eat or drink anything for 3 days because she was petrified that guards or staff would take a photo of her on the toilet.

The stainless steel lavatory in the hotel heiress' 12-foot-by-8-foot cell was in plain view of a large window in the door, which guards could look through 24hours a day."She was absolutely terrified that one of the guards or staffers would get her with the cell-phone cam and it would wind up on the Internet," a Hilton insider said yesterday.

That would probably make me paralysed and unable to go as well. On the other hand, Paris has been photographed numerous times getting out of a cars with out underwear on, not to mention the sex tape, so why does she care if there is a photo of her peeing?

My helpful suggestion, hold it until lights out.

Click here to see an hilarious photo of Spiderman holding up a "Free Paris" sign.

Breaking News: Paris Back to Jail!!!!

No party for Paris tonight!! TMZ has just reported that the Judge has ordered Paris back to jail!!!!

Paris was screaming "Mom, Mom, Mom" and had to be physcially dragged out of the courtroom by a deputy.

Paris Cries on Way to Court

Paris cried as she was hauled away to face the court again today. As Mia previously posted, it was absolutely insane outside Paris's house as the Sherrif arrived to take her to court. An MSNBC reporter was run over!! According to TMZ.com Paris was cuffed before she was driven to the court house.

We are now patiently wait for the results of the hearing.

TMZ has the blow by blows

The Luckiest Girl on the Planet Speaks

TMZ has gotten a statement from Paris Hilton via her attorney.

"I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes."

BREAKING NEWS: LA Sheriff Press Conference

First of all, I don't think Los Angeles County Sheriff's Dept. spokesperson Steve Whitmore was aware that the microphones where on when he said the following: "If I was doing any better, I'd have to be twins to enjoy it!" he is obviously pretty happy to be rid of Paris and the circus that follows her.

"...after extensive consultation (which he later clarified as "dozens of consultations over 3 or 4 days.") with medical personnel, Paris Hilton will be reassigned to our electronic monitoring system. This means that she will be confined to her home for the next 40 days. Her sentence is now back up to 45 days. She will now be under the supervision of the LA County Probation Department."

Medical personnel?? Give me a break!! They totally fell for her crying act. I can't believe this. Whitmore went on to say that he cannot release details about her medical 'condition' due to confidentiality. But he did assure us that she does not have a staph infection. Nice.

This is such crap. So she gets to go home to her big giant mansion, have all her friends over and party in the privacy of her own home for 40 days. This is sending such a great example.
My favorite comment from the press was this on: "She played you like a puppet on a string!" Fantastic.

What the.....????

TMZ is reporting that Paris is already out of the pokey!!! She was initially sentenced to 45 days which got shortened to 23 but she has only served 3! THREE!! The LA County Sheriff's Department is holding a news conference this morning so we will soon find out how this spoiled brat managed this one.

Smug Mug

Here's Paris Hilton's mug shot taken by the LA County Sheriff's Department. Paris surrendered herself to the authorities last night after the MTV Movie Awards, where Sarah Silverman showed no mercy to Paris and her impending jail term.

Apparently she went in late last night to avoid the paparazzi. TMZ has the full scoop

Most Uncomfortable Moment...But Oh So Good!

I'm pretty sure even though we are only 8 minutes in, we just experienced the most uncomfortable moment of the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. In Sarah Silverman's opening monologue, she said:

"In a couple of days, Paris Hilton is going to jail." Crowd applauds and cheers and generally goes wild, cut to Paris Hilton. Silverman goes on to say that to make her feel more comfortable, they were going to make the prison bars look like penises. Then she said "I'm just worried she'll break her teeth." Crowd goes nuts. Cut to Paris. Serious scowl on her face! She looked like she was either going to cry or rush the stage and kill her! Wow!! Silverman is not holding back, that's for sure!

Update: Click here to relive Sarah's full opening monologue at the MTV Awards

Paris at the MTV Movie Awards!

I have to say that I was shocked that Paris actually showed up at the MTV Movie Awards. She was wearing a black dress with about 9 trillion ruffles. She was very serious, serious for Paris anyway. She hardly cracked a smile, and that one only came when she was thanked for coming and called 'courageous' for facing the crowd. When asked how she was doing, she said,

"I'm scared but I'm strong. I'm ready to serve my sentence and I hope setting an example for other young people and the decisions they make."

Yeah, right. Your just pissed you got caught and that your name didn't get you out of it.

Poor Paris...hahaha!

Warner Brother's Music Group has announced that they have dropped Paris Hilton. All together now, awwww. Rumor has it that they are pretty unhappy after investing $250,000 in a video for her '06 single, Stars Are Blind, and a promotional tour that brought in less than half a million in record sales. A rep for Warner Brothers said, "We are not expecting any new Paris Hilton material in the foreseeable future." Ouch! The fact that she'll be an ex-con can't be helping her either! Speaking of, let the countdown begin - Paris is set to report to the pokey on Tuesday!

Throw Her in Jail with Paris.....

Lindsay Lohan has been cited for DUI after crashing her Mercedes early this morning. Lindsay was admitted to a local hospital suffering minor injuries. She wasn't taken into custody, but was given a court date

Forgodssakes Lindsay!!!!!! Why, girl? Why? We were half buying the rehab story, but now we know you just got a nice rest while you were in Wonderland, pretending to be in rehab.

I hope they throw you in the slammer next door to Paris, at this stage, it's your only hope.

(source)

Sad News of the Day

US Magazine is reporting that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are now dating. If you have been living under a rock, Reggie Bush is a running back for the New Orleans Saints and an all around good guy. He has done incredible things for the city of New Orleans. Kardashian, on the other hand, is best known for her sex tape with her ex-boyfriend Ray-J. I'm totally distraught by this news because I really like Reggie Bush. And guess how Kardashian got her hands on Bush? We can thank none other than Paris Hilton. Apparently Paris introduced Bush to Kardashian when she was dating fellow USC teammate Matt Leinart. US reports a source that witnessed the couple in an L.A. nightclub on May 10th.

Bush and Kardashian were "grinding" and "making out" on the dance floor all night. "You can tell they really get along," says the source. "Now she's ready to go public with him."

Another source that is 'close to the couple' tells Us that Kardashian is a longtime USC football supporter because of her father, Robert Kardashian, who was a manager for the team back with O.J. Simpson played for the Trojans. And yes, he is the same Robert Kardashian who was one of Simpson's Dream Team members. Nice.

Paris News In a Nutshell

You've all probably heard by now that Paris is an emotional wreck, incapable of a cohesive thought. And that Governor Schwarzenegger said that he "has more important things to think about" than getting Paris out of her 45 days of jail. And the subplot of Paris' dad being hospitalized for an undisclosed surgery" and Paris' subsequent trip to church!

But my favorite story from the weekend has to be another fabulous letter from Candy Spelling (via TMZ) calling Paris a spoiled brat and telling her to stand up to her responsibilities!! And then to make it even better Patty Hearst contacted TMZ after rumors that she was talking to Paris and basically agreed with everything Candy Spelling said!!.

I have two questions in all of this. Why does Candy Spelling keep writing letters and sending them to TMZ? And why is this the only photo that everyone has of Candy? The weird front on shot with the wispy hair! I think that Candy should release a new photo of herself with her next open letter!!!

Friday Morning Links

McDreamy says he's not that hot in real life.

Angelina and Brad say more kids, no wedding bells

Of course Paris isn't going to have to serve the full 45 days in jail. Of course.

Sting and Trudie don't like pregnant chef's

My 93 year old grandma has better legs than Melanie Griffith

Paris Issues A Statement

"After reading the media's coverage of my court hearing, I feel the need to correct what I believe are misperceptions about me. I absolutely realize how serious driving under the influence is. I could not live with myself if anyone was injured or killed while I was driving while impaired. Clearly, no one should -- no matter how slightly.I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation.No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse."

Yeah - right.

TMZ has a fun poll , 90% of respondents do not believe a word she says.

Paris is Mental

Why does Paris Hilton have the nerve to DRIVE HER CAR, yet again, while her licence is suspended, even though she knows she's going to jail for doing that very thing?

Answer: Because she's been told the law doesn't apply to her!! I blame her mother.

OOPS: Mia tells me that Paris' license has been reinstated for a while!!!! I still blame her mother.

Paris and Elliot Make Up

Paris Hilton and publicist Elliot Mintz kissed and made up overnight, after Mintz's firing in the wake of Paris' jail sentence on the weekend.

Reuters is reporting that Mintz and Hilton spent last evening talking and sorting things out.

"I represent Paris and I'm proud to," Elliot Mintz told Reuters early on Tuesday after a night out with his client.

"We had a wonderful evening, we talked, and our media relationship resumes uninterrupted."

It's unclear why Paris changed her mind, but I'm willing to bet that her lawyers yelled at her and told her she can't blame Mintz and the word "humble" was thrown about.

I have no clue why Mintz is so keen to keep representing Paris. She must be the biggest headache in the world. As I mentioned yesterday Paris must be paying him a bomb to stick around. Mintz's previous clients have included John Lennon and Bob Dylan, so the Paris thing is a mystery for the ages.