Paris News In a Nutshell

You've all probably heard by now that Paris is an emotional wreck, incapable of a cohesive thought. And that Governor Schwarzenegger said that he "has more important things to think about" than getting Paris out of her 45 days of jail. And the subplot of Paris' dad being hospitalized for an undisclosed surgery" and Paris' subsequent trip to church!

But my favorite story from the weekend has to be another fabulous letter from Candy Spelling (via TMZ) calling Paris a spoiled brat and telling her to stand up to her responsibilities!! And then to make it even better Patty Hearst contacted TMZ after rumors that she was talking to Paris and basically agreed with everything Candy Spelling said!!.

I have two questions in all of this. Why does Candy Spelling keep writing letters and sending them to TMZ? And why is this the only photo that everyone has of Candy? The weird front on shot with the wispy hair! I think that Candy should release a new photo of herself with her next open letter!!!

Today's The Day!

Today is the day we have all been waiting for - Dannielynn's paternity results will be read aloud in court in the Bahamas today!! Of course, I'm not sure how long we will have to wait until the news leaks out, but I'm sure that Larry Birkhead will want to announce it to the world, if he is the father of Dannielynn.

In the meantime, here's an interesting letter from Candy Spelling to Larry Birkhead, full of fantastic advice for the newly famous. Apparently Candy sent this letter to Larry via TMZ.com, probably to make sure that everyone in the free world reads it, because I can't imagine that with her money and connections she couldn't have found his email address to send it to him directly.

Click here to read the whole letter. Mrs Spelling has definitely has some great advice for Larry, and my favorite is this:

The hair, Larry: Most of the time, your hair looks great, and I'm sure you spend a lot of time getting it right. Just be warned that you might look good every day for a month. But the one day you leave in a hurry and don't pay enough attention, or you get a little wild with an untested new style -- photos will be taken that will haunt you forever.